Once, when I was young, I thought that 65 was so far away. I would never be 65. And yet, here I am, a few days before. Where has the time gone? Is time merely a passing memory. Do I, can I, feel that first kiss; lips upon lips, tongues seeking another's. What of that warmth, so beckoning, so moist, as you slid your penis inside her vagina. What is the past but memory?
I have a confession to make. Despite reading, and seeing, it a number of times. I have always thought that 'Cry havoc' came from 'Henry V'. I was wrong; it comes from 'Julius Ceasar'; How wrong can one be? For nigh on fifty years, I have been seduced by Shakespeare's rhetoric! How apposite 'Cry Havoc and let slip the dogs of war' sounded in advance of 'and let us close up the wall with our English dead.' William was far better than I ever gave him credit for; oh the folly of youth!
And you know when things are bad with the covid-19 outbreak when your local stores start investing in glass screens twixt customer and shopkeeper. Delivered supermarket goods are all very well but I still like to support my local 'asian stores' as much as I can; they provide a valuable service. Forever open, even on Christmas Day, providing 'tick' (deferred payment until the benefit payment comes through), giving a gift at Christmas to 'valued' (read regular) customers, Ferrero Rocher chocs or half a bottle of one's favorite tipple.
Recently, I had run almost out of toilet roll. I ventured out only to find the shelf empty; what no toilet roll? The 'assistant' (read one of Mr Patel's clan) advised me that they were having trouble sourcing it at the 'cash and carry' but were keeping what little stock they had for 'regulars'. I asked for a two roll pack if they had them; two rolls would suffice until I could source another outlet. I was given six rolls! If I had noticed it before I got home, I would have given the four roll pack back; someone must be in more need than I was. But, what a gesture! One does not get that from a supermarket chain!
I have also recently been pondering, perhaps weirdly some might say, about what actors (really actresses but that is not de rigeur nowadays) attract me by their physical appearance. Obviously, I don't know them as people but who I might wish to get to know, perhaps someone I would try a mild flirtation with at a party with the intent of getting to know them better as people. The list somewhat surprised me as it was not composed of the 'usual suspects'. They had clearly been chosen for ability not for their ability as 'eye candy'.
Sure, all the 'dead, or nearly dead', featured on my list. Catherine Deneuve, Merle Oberon, Grace Kelly, Clara Bow (the original 'It Girl'), Audrey Hepburn and the three Isabelle(a)s, Adjani, Huppert and Rossalini but I was more interested in the living not the dead or nearly dead. Surprisingly, I was drawn to the lesser known, not 'stars'; people one could somehow think of as normal, leading normal lives, going to Sainsbury's to do their shopping and only buying expensive clothes for a 'premiere' in which they played a (very) minor role.
First up is the most troubling to me. She is not in any way 'eye candy' but not 'ugly'; when I look at her, I do not see a beauty, merely someone one might see on the tube and not give a second thought to. Am I so attracted to 'talent' that I ignore everything else. (I hope so.) And she is talented, be sure of that. Nicola Walker is one of the finest actors that I have seen. 'Line of duty' is perhaps the best 'cop show' in the last ten or fifteen years, her performance was so real and I so longed for her not to commit suicide so that she could reappear!
Sharon Smith; so good in the 'Inspector Lynley Mysteries' that she stole every scene! Maybe it was the director running with an arc that was never to be realised but the character wanted Lynley so much. Maybe it was how it was 'meant' to go; maybe it was Smith. Who knows? But if someone looked at me in the way that Smith looks at her fellow actor, I would at least pursue the possibility that the 'arc' of the series was not the right one. And she makes the most of her pixie looks and demeanour.
Alison O'Donnell: she brings a whole new game to the idea of 'frump' as 'sex symbol' and ultimately as 'tarnished goods'. She never looks her best, always dowdy (at least Mali Harries had her red anorak), never remotely 'glamourous', never beguiling and yet . . . One just needed a chink in her armour . . .
Mali Harries: perhaps it is just the voice; a remembrance of nights spent on the sofa while she slept in the bed. Maybe the Welsh lilt beguiles me. All I ask is that BBC Wales commission another 'series' of 'y gwyll' (Hinterland) so that I get to see Mali in a 'starring' role and one that perhaps stretches her talent.
Jodie Comer: 'eye candy', to be sure. But watch 'Thirteen' or 'Killing Eve' and tell me that she is not a great actor, however young she may be.
Hermione Norris: I have no idea why, amongst so many other 'blondes', she should make my 'list' but she does. Is it the cheekbones that you could cut paper with? Or her similarity to a 'Cranach nude' with her clothes on? I don't much like the hair though; perhaps Amanda Tapping in early 'Stargate-SG1' would suit better.
Finally, a passing nod to someone I once saw on the concourse, under the clock, on Waterloo station as I was going home after work; about fifteen years ago. Maybe she was waiting for someone. Knee high, black boots, tight denim jeans, faded, white T-shirt and a leather, short, only to the waist, 'bomber jacket'. She looked a million dollars; someone you would give your eye teeth to fuck! (Pardon my French.) It was Annette Crosbie (One foot in the grave), who when I saw her must have been in her sixties.
So, what attracts you?
One must never mistake the actor for the role that they play or the author for the behaviour of their characters. It is always fiction; nothing more, nothing less. That we believe is a true testament to their skill.
