What a strange trio, triad, triplet....... how do you say 'three days' as a singular noun? I can't imagine English not having a word for it. It's got a word for everything else! Even 'shit-eater', 'coprophage', if you're interested!
I came in nearly a week ago to write the next thrilling instalment of '10 Penguins and an Eskimo roll' and.........I knocked a mouse with my wing!
The monitor next to the one I was going to use came 'alive' and, as you do, I peered across and saw "It is, as always, a pleasure!". It was the text of an email someone had written and presumably not yet sent.
Now, of course, I know that it is impolite to read other people's email but the phrase intrigued me. What, in the depths of snow and ice here, could have been a pleasure? So, and you can shout at me now, I read the most recent items in the 'Inbox' and the 'Sent items'. It wasn't much, just someone asking for advice and getting it! What was weird was as I closed the final sent email, without warning, some words flashed into my mind. I have spent the last week using what little time I get on a computer working backwards from that as a 'final line' to a story. Where does that come from? Where did the words come from and why make a story from them? And why would I make the story about humans? Not penguins?
No, I am not going to share the line I worked back from. Nor am I going to share the story. Well not at least until I have polished it to death and even then.............Still I did say this was about using English to do more that write SQL so..........
We had a visit today......from four kings (that's King Penguins not royalty or four wise men! That would be turn up wouldn't it? The second coming of Jesus.....as a penguin!) There's a big colony of King Penguins about 30 km nearer the coast - the lot from here often go out on their skidoos and research them as well. Well these four non- breeders had waddled all the way here to find out what we were doing. They'd heard that from some bl**dy skua that we were planning something seriously impressive and they wanted a quick look. Sometimes I wish we had the wherewithall to shoot shotguns, skuas not only eat our chicks and eggs but spread the most awful gossip.
Well these kings are desperate to see around the other side of the bluff but every time they made a move to waddle in that direction, the whole rookery moved in front of them, blocking their way. They tried a different tack and the colony moved to block them. No doubt some newbie's getting his paper prepared about the defensive habits of emperor colonies!
Now don't get me wrong, we weren't being unkind or unsympathetic or even needlessly secretive but all they wanted was enough of a look so they could go back to their own rookery and copy us! There's more of them than us, so they'd be finished before us and they'd get all the credit.
Does that kind of thing infuriate YOU as much as it does us. We do all the hard work and they get all the credit/kudos? Eventually, Cozy had to make it VERY clear that they were not welcome. You really don't want to try 'you push me, I'll push you' with Cozy. After a few minutes of mutual 'eyeballing' they decided discretion was the better part of valour and waddled away. No doubt they'll just do the conga again this year.
Only trouble was, it had put Cozy in a bad mood and he's not taking my literary endeavours too well if they take precedence over his bl**dy flares. I had to promise, tomorrow, without fail. Oh well, they need me...........I think!
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