Heaven knows, Mr Allison, my arse and punching peregrines

Don't sit under the apple tree
With anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me!
Don't sit under the apple tree
With anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me!

Fricka and I took the opportunity for a little romance at the movies last night; you know, nuzzling beaks, wing to wing, a change from...............in front of the station's TV. I sneaked an order in before I went back to sea last year and it was nice to see the DVDs had all arrived safely from Amazon and had been placed on the shelf by the cretins that pass for scientists at this place.

So last night was the extraordinarily wonderful Robert Mitchum and Deborah Kerr love story that isn't a love story about a marooned nun and her Girine (Marine Corps GI) saviour, 'Heaven knows, Mr Allison'. It has such a 'Casablanca scene at the airport' feel about it. MG thinks DK never looked better than the scene where Mitchum removes Kerr's 'head-dress', exposing the short, curled, dark hair and wide eyes, so like Audrey Hepburn. Deliberate? Probably. Still, it's hard not to be moved by a story of a nun probably in love with a GI who chooses her vocation over her affection for a decent man, isn't it?

It's not quite up there in the tear-jerking stakes with Casablanca. The poor Girene has no control over the situation but Bogart? All he has to be is a little bit selfish. Lazlo's not going to completely fall apart if Ilsa stays, is he?

Not sure why but I was reminded today of a short, filmed mini-report about a little village in southern France. The village is called Montcuq. Pronounced by the locals as Moncuc but by pretty much everyone else in France as Moncu. So what's so interesting about that? Well, the way everyone else in France says it, it sounds exactly like 'mon cul'. And what's interesting about that? 'Mon cul' means 'my arse/ass' in French. The film starts with the reporter explaining that this will be the first time on television for 'mon cul' as he turns away from the camera which then pans down. You can see where this is going can't you? The rest of the film is littered with other such scatological remarks from 'mon cul is very narrow' to which the mayor replies "but well lit at night" to 'ou est l'arret de mon cul?' (Where is the bus stop in Moncuq?) which sounds exactly like 'ou est la raie de mon cul?' (Where's the crack in my arse?) to which the mayor replies "it doesn't exist!" So if anyone is reading this who speaks French, go check out the link - it is absolutely hilarious! Oh and in case you're wondering - me not being able to understand spoken language and all - MG did me a written transcription ages ago with the joke timings because sometimes the visuals match. :)

Last year, or maybe a year or two before, Hasbro, the makers of Monopoly were going to introduce a special edition of Monopoly in France. Instead of street names they were going to use the names of towns and they left one square blank and held an internet poll to garner votes for the town which should fill it. If you live there vote for it! Montcuq won! By a large margin! However I think subsequently Hasbro decided that as the votes cast were about twenty times the population of the town, they could safely discount it and thus avoid the embarrassment of having people playing the game saying: "You've landed on my arse, that's €500 you owe me!" or "I'm going to put another hotel on my arse!"

Rummaging around on YouTube in the wake of the previous peregrine post I found this. Now I think the title is mistaken, the struck bird still has a degree of control in the descent after the strike and is simply 'stunned'; a peregrine strikes its prey by and large with its toes curled up, more of a punch with the feet really; eagles do that too, and it hurts, really hurts! Peregrines are truly awesome birds! I'd trade a shorter lifespan for just once being able to fix on my prey, do a couple of barrel rolls and then accelerate to 150-200mph before 'taking out' dinner!

Nonetheless it's a great way to tell your neighbours to F*** Off!