Don't you just love it when advertisers totally miss the point? Fakebook displayed a 'sponsored ad' for me today: "A woman nearby secretly followed you and sent you a dating request! see (sic) who she is now! (clickable link)" I do not have to tell you that it is an ad for a dating site! I assume that such ads are routinely posted on anyone's 'home page' who lists their 'status' as 'single'.
I have nothing against Internet dating, for sex or romance, but isn't it just a mite presumptuous to believe that I, or anyone, would be interested in hooking up with someone who secretly follows you home? I mean, potential stalker material, anyone? Bunny-boiler* in waiting? Who on earth follows people home? In secret? And why would I think that such a person would have the slightest interest in me, or for me? One can only assume that such ads are disseminated on the basis that the average mental age of a Fakebook user is three.
Perhaps I should give it a go, this Internet dating lark. (I did attempt to follow the link but when it came up with a dialogue box requesting access to my profile and such friends and emails that I have, I decided strongly that 'Cupid plc' was not a company that I wanted to do business with!)
It is, however, strange that we, by and large, consider 'Internet dating' or the 'dating agencies', video or otherwise, that preceded it as somehow smacking of desperation, not normal; using a third party to find a potential partner. I find this strange because, in essence, it is no different to the ways in which we choose friends or lovers in the absence of such 'dating' arrangements.
We seek out a ready pool of possible candidates in nightclubs (discos when I was young), in pubs, in the office, at social events and make a choice as to who we would like to get to know better. How is that any different from trawling through a bevy of 'profiles' to find one or more that seem interesting, that you might be attracted to? Photographs are a necessary part of the 'Internet dating' process only because that is invariably how we make that initial choice; how the most attractive invariably attract the most 'suitors', male and female alike. I lost count of the number of times, in my rare forays into the 'cattle market', that I always seemed to be in direct competition, and make no mistake it is a competition, with at least one other person!
But people lie on the Internet? Of course they do but people lie in any social interaction when meeting someone for the first time, even afterwards sometimes; it is rare for people not to exaggerate their job, their social life, or status, or skills in an effort to impress the other party. It is what we are most accomplished at, telling stories and, like as not, often stories with only a vague and tenuous grasp on reality!
But the Internet is full of the weirdest bastards imaginable? Get used to it! 'Life' in general is just as adept at attracting weirdos as the Internet. We have all met a 'bunny boiler'; a nerd who lives his life by and for IPSec and the TCP/IP protocols; the woman so obsessed with her physical appearance that it is a wonder that she finds the time to venture outside the house; the Tiddlywinks World Champion; the religious nut-job more interested in 'saving' you than in your tales of debauchery and wild abandon in the 'swinging sixties'.
There is of course one advantage to this view of 'Internet dating', this sense that it is somehow mildly abnormal, not the way you are supposed to do things; it allows us to disengage from prospective 'partners' much more easily. If you are not likely to meet again the individual that you got talking to in pub last night, before you made a fool of yourself, then how much more unlikely is it that you will meet again an individual snared by trawling the Internet. Even though it is self-deception of the highest order, it does nonetheless provide a modicum of comfort.
Highlight of the year so far: Portishead at Glastonbury with the amazing Adrian Utley, 'Glory Box' is truly awesome, and Beth Gibbons who has so far managed to make an entire, and lucrative, career out of a feminine angst like no other! Not to be listened to if you are at all depressed; it will tip you over the edge!
Useless factoid #437 : Apparently, according to Wiki, the Kenny Everett character 'Cupid Stunt' replaced the similarly 'Spoonerism' named Mary Hinge because the BBC found the latter too controversial; how weird is that? Hairy Minge** is too risqué for prime-time TV but Stupid Cunt is not! Perhaps the BBC executives just did not realise that the 'Spoonerism' formula was being applied again?
* Perhaps it is just me but the term 'bunny boiler' has now surely well and truly entered the vocabulary of English speaking nations in that no-one who speaks the language can have any doubt as to what it means; the power of popular culture, the might of the ephemeral and disposable for all that Glenn Close gives a wonderful performance as the jilted lover! What is strange however is the fact that I have just had to look up the name of the film in Wiki because, for the life of me, I could not remember it! It's 'Fatal Attraction' if you are interested.
** Vulgar and often derogatory UK slang for the pudenda. Possibly the source for the word 'minging', meaning foul, bad, uncool, and which is so beloved of young females everywhere nowadays.
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