There's no title...Oh, what the f**k!

You have to feel sorry for Queen Elizabeth II, don't you? That's the monarch not the ocean going ship. She spends her whole life dedicating herself to her job. Trying to do her best at being a queen and while there may be many compensations, obscene wealth not being the least, I would be loth to give up everything that I might enjoy in a desperate, last gasp, attenpt to save the UK's constitutional monarchy. Out with the girls after one too many Bacardi Breezers, the occasional line of coke in some swanky restaurant's toilets, the occasional quickie up against the wall of the palace with a 'bit of rough', burning down a public building.

Disagree with the monarchy or not, no-one can doubt Elizabeth's committment to the job. And yet she is surrounded by the most stupid, imbecilic individuals, not to mention an intrusive press, that she must wish that she had been born in earlier times; the Victorian era perhaps? When the Royals knew how to be 'discrete', circumspect. When she would not be surrounded by scandal, embarrassment and out and out idiocy at every step of the way.

Now undoubtedly society has moved on, for better or worse, but what the poor old dear has had to put up with. Her philandering husband (hearsay and rumour I hasten to add, I'm not getting sued over this - no-one dared print it in the 70's); her idiot of a son and a marriage made in hell; her other idiot of a son and a marriage made in another kind of hell; her ex-daughter in law in bed with the son of the 'fugger' (how did that wanker get control of Harrods? At least there are no worries on that score now!); her doubly idiot of a son and his ludicrous affair with someone else's wife, sort of. How she must long for the power of her namesake.

And now Fergie rears her ugly money-grubbing head again. When will that women ever learn? Not ever, probably, too stupid; but how can you get caught in a sting like that? On tape? £500,000 for 'access' to Andrew (an unpaid trade envoy). I may be old-fashioned but, when you buy into that whole 'Royal Family' thing and all that it brings with it, wealth, fame, prestige. does that not give you certain 'obligations'. Like you maybe 'owe' something? Like you don't embarrass them too much? Like you don't drag the family into mud for a financial gain? Your financial gain?

Now, of course, Fergie had the perfect mentor, Lady Diana Spencer, but I still find it amazing that someone would stoop so low without any consideration for the position which she originally put herself in by marrying into the family. Her 'publicist', read 'Damage Limitation Expert', said she was 'naive'. Well, that doesn't begin to describe it.

It is only the general 'love' the Brits have for the actual person that is the Queen that sustains the monarchy. When she is dead, the whole edifice will collapse within twenty years and the Brits will have a republic, a president. Why? Because the people around her never accepted that 'with great power comes great responsibilty' (to quote Uncle Ben. No, not the rice, Peter Parker's, Spiderman's, Uncle Ben). They're too thick to understand that they're queering their own patch! And it damn well serves them right! But the rest? Lord only knows!

You can say what you like about constitutional monarchy but if it stops people like Rayguns, Dubya, Mitterand, Wilson, Putin from totally controlling nations, then I'm all for it! But only when you have a monarch like the Brits have got right now. Any of the other wankers, and it's pushing a 'handcart to hell'!